I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
