weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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