what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
