I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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