The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
