How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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