it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How external is "for external use only"?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize