did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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