Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The dick lei will go down in squad history
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
