well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My day in three words: secret purse cake
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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