your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
