I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
