i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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