....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
