Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am available for nakedness
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
