As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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