Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
