The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
