i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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