Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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