just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
