Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
