well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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