I don't think brook has ever known best
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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