Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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