i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
