Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The power of my boobs compel you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
