Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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