Joe is yelling at the trees again.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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