I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
