Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
