i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
