Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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