I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
