so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
