the condom got lost in my hair
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
