hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
