I smell stomach acid.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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