meet me or not, i'm out of control
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
