She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
