Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
