why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
