Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
