We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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