So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
