She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize