He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
try to milk me bitch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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