arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
