I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
did you just send me my own nude
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
