Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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