Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize