You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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