Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
