Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize