He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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