I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
