thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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