please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
