Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
