Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We got so high we made milksteak
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have already put on my inside pants.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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